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UniKoRn's diary of insanity

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In memory of Jason
bishi, keh, smirk

Jason would not have wanted a traditional funeral.

So my Uncle Graeme, my Dad and 2 of Jason's friends went to Darwin and drove back with his ashes. One final road trip.

Instead of formal funeral with everyone wearing black, we held a wake at my parents house to celebrate Jason's life.

I thought had got my sadness over with after the initial news as shortly after I went to Japan and was able to forget for a little bit that my family was grieving. But returning home to reality and actually seeing people's faces today was hard. With each person I greeted and hugged, it was more difficult to hold in tears. Eventually I hit breaking point and had to hide in one of the bedrooms for a few minutes while I sobbed. I have this habit of hiding my pain, a thing I've done since I was a small child, when Daniel died.

I can't believe that I've lost 3 of my cousins. It's just not right. It's not fair.

Jason lived his life fearlessly but paid the price. I'm sure he wouldn't want us to be sad for too long. He died doing what he loved people say. But that doesn't really bring much comfort when someone is gone forever. Is recklessness anything other than suicide?

These are the thoughts I want to say but can't say them to anyone.

When it's your own family member that's gone no one wants to talk about things like they were drunk or weren't wearing safety gear.

It's too late to chide someone who's gone, it's pointless. But I know we do these things when we hear news reports of strangers.

I just hope that people can learn from this pain and take care of themselves better. So we don't have to say goodbye to anyone else too young to lose their life.